Unforseen
by An Ordinary Riceball
Summary: When Izaya begins acting strangely, Namie eventually makes a call to somebody who she believes will be able to help him; Mikage Sharaku. Mikage, upon going to check up on Izaya, then makes a horrifying discovery about him that she would have never forseen. Self-harm. I WROTE THIS ON NO SLEEP AND IN A DEPRESSIVE AND ANXIOUS STATE, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME.
1. Chapter 1

**_Story: Unforseen (may change story name later), Chapter 1_**

 ** _Summary: When Izaya begins acting strangely, Namie eventually makes a call to somebody who she believes will be able to help him; Mikage Sharaku. Mikage, upon going to check up on Izaya, then makes a horrifying discovery about him that she would have never forseen. Self-harm. I WROTE THIS ON NO SLEEP AND IN A DEPRESSIVE AND ANXIOUS STATE, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME. I will bring in Shinra later._**

Namie was not an idiot. Because of her knowledge in pharmaceuticals and even psychology, she knew when something was wrong with somebody, especially when she'd known them for a long time. She picked up on quirks and payed closer attention to people's habits than she'd like to admit.

So when Izaya had began to smirk less and seemed to be becoming more reclusive, not to mention coming into work paler than usual, she couldn't help but notice. Even if most of her attention still remained on her beloved Seiji, Izaya's changes had inevitably become distracting as of late, and she couldn't just turn a blind eye to it anymore, because it was becoming rather irritating. If something happened to Izaya, her paycheck would be gone, and so would her fastest route to keeping up with keeping an eye on Seiji. Of course there were other factors, but she would rather not focus on them.

So she decided to make a call to somebody who knew Izaya better than many; A woman who had a past with him. Mikage Sharaku.

" _Moshi moshi_..." the woman's deep voice answered from the other end of the phone. She sounded tired.

"Mikage-san, this is Namie. I was wondering... have you noticed anything out of sorts with Izaya-san lately?"

There was a momentary silence on the other end of the phone that implied that she was thinking about it, before she finally spoke. "...Why do you ask?"

"As somebody who has knowledge in the subject, I couldn't help but notice that he looks paler than usual, and has been quieter as of late. It wouldn't be that much of a problem if it wasn't getting in the way of my job and my avalibility to keep an eye on Seiji. But seeing as he keeps canceling my work, I can't just ignore it anymore. Do you think you could check up on him?" Namie proposed.

"I'm kind of busy right now. Is it really that big of an issue for you to talk to him yourself?"

"While it is true that I _could_ approach him about it, I feel like you two have a relationship beyond professionalism and you would have more luck getting through to him. You have known him longer than me, after all." Namie told her.

"You have a point, I guess." Mikage sighed from the other end of the phone. "Fine, I'll go."

"I appreciate it. I'm going to hang up now." Namie said.

"Yeah. See ya..." Mikage grumbled, before the last thing Namie heard her saying was, "Ugh, that idiot better not have gotten himself into something stupid by the time I go to check on him..."

Well, that took care of that.

...

Mikage didn't want to admit it, but she had noticed the changes in Izaya as well. He didn't spout off nonsense about loving humans as much anymore and he did seem quieter lately. Not to mention what Namie had mentioned, about how pale he seemed.

Mikage was the only one at the dojo right now, so she made sure to lock up behind herself as she then made her way to Izaya's apartment.

She knocked several times. And when nobody answered or opened the door, she finally decided to use the key. She was one of the only ones, alongside Shinra, Namie, and Izaya himself that had a key to it.

Upon entering, she took note of how quiet the it was inside.

"Oi, Izaya, you in here?" She called out after a moment.

No answer.

Now that she thought about it, what was she going to say? She had come here with the intentions of confronting him, but now she felt at a loss of words.

Despite everything, she didn't want to sound insincere.

However, she knew that saying _something_ was better than saying nothing, so she refused to just turn away, because a lack of confrontation is part of exactly what had caused her and Izaya to become so distant.

Walking around, she noticed the bathroom light was on. She didn't want to intrude on his privacy, so she stood by the door without looking in an knocked on the wall near the door. "Izaya, did you hear me? I need to talk to you about something."

Still no answer. She really didn't want to walk in on him and invade his privacy, but there was a really uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that just wouldn't let up.

So she decided to let her gut feeling guide her. And she was horrified when she did.

Blood.

There was blood in the bathtub.

Izaya was lying in it. His face was extremely pale.

She had to take a moment to process it, before she rushed to his side. "Izaya?"

"Izaya...!" She shook him in an effort to wake him up, and upon further examination she realized the blood was coming from his arms. _Cuts. So many fucking cuts and even scars._

Mikage felt sicker than she'd ever felt before. She couldn't believe what she was looking at. Izaya had been cutting himself? For how long?

She told herself it didn't matter right now, and unplugged the drain to let the cold bloody water out of the bathtub. Fortunately, she could tell that he was at least still breathing.

Seeing as he wasn't responding, she grabbed a nearby dry rag, and gently dabbed one of his arms with it, drying his skin off. She moved it away from the water and held it up, reaching over to the brown shelf behind her, grabbing a box of bandage wraps that she was glad he had. Using one hand to hold the rag around Izaya's wrist, and using the other to hold the bandage wrap, she used her teeth to break the plastic, pulling it off of it. She then let the bandage wrap unroll before finally beginning to wrap it around his dry arm.

As the water was just about to drain out, she noticed him lull his eyes open.

"Mi...kage...chan?"

She was more relieved than she would ever admit to hear his voice, but knew that she needed to focus on his cuts.

"Don't talk... Just stay awake." She mumbled, as she hooked the end of bandage to the rest of it with the metal clip that came it. Maybe tape would have been to use to avoid giving Izaya anymore crazy urges to harm himself, but it was all she had.

She wasn't completely surprised that Izaya didn't say anything more, given that he was probably dazed and too weak to converse much.

Moving onto his other arm, she wondered if this was her fault in anyway. She was basically his bodyguard, and the only body guard truly devoted to him, and yet she had let pride get the best of her, otherwise she would have talked to him by now, and confronted him on his depressive symptoms.

She had known something was up with him for a while, but she had simply decided there wasn't anything she could do.

Still, just because Izaya was stubborn wasn't a reason to let him destroy himself, and she realized that. She didn't care what he thought or said now. He may have done some things that she didn't like before, but, in a way, he'd saved her when she was in an extremely dark period of her life all those years ago, so now she was going to do the same thing for him whether he liked it or not.

She couldn't help but wonder if he had anybody he felt he could talk to at all. Knowing him, he probably knew there weren't many that would listen to him, as much as she hated it.

Even so, she would have listened if he had tried to approach her with sincerity...! She would have listened to him. Izaya shouldn't have been so prideful about things himself. He should have reached out to _somebody!_

 _He probably doesn't know how to reach out to anybody_ , a thought dawned on her, filling her with a bit of regret. He had lived his entire life relying sole on himself for emotional support. He may not have been a person who coddled others, but he certainly didn't expect it from them either. And given that his parents had never really been around, she didn't want to admit it, but it made damn well sense why he was the way he was.

Mikage had never been able to truly hate Izaya either, because she knew a bit of what he had been through and had always known that Izaya wasn't heartless, underneath everything.

She understood that he was actually a fragile human being beneath it all, even if he tried to reject his humanity, and avoid his heart.

He wasn't looking at her anymore, and she could tell that he was probably frustrated that she had seen him in him such a state.

"...Sorry..." she said. She didn't know why she had apologized, whether it was for not making it clear before then that she did care about him, or intruding on his privacy, maybe both.

His response left her with an unidentifiable angst.

"You shouldn't look... like that, you know... Melancholy doesn't suit you,... Mikage-chan." He told her, with a weak smile.

"I should say the same thing about you, yet here you are with cuts and scars covering your arms... What does that say about you?" She didn't hesitate to point him out on his twisted hypocrisy, as she finally finished up with the bandage wrap.

"...Touche." He muttered and gave a small smirk, his auburn eyes downcast.

She then pulled out a towel wrapping it around him to cover him up. "...Can you stand?"

"I can try." He said, tying the towel around his body. Weakly, he used his arms to push himself up. However his arms were shaking and he obviously wasn't very steady at all.

"Let me help you." Mikage said reaching out to grab his arm.

"I'm fine." Izaya said, trying to pull back. However, Mikage refused to backdown and kept her grip on him.

"No, you aren't. You're going to _fall_. And you're unsteady as hell. Sit down on the side of the bathtub so you can get your clothes on. Here." She told him, handing him his clothes. "Let me know when you're done."

"However," Mikage had pulled out several switchblades from Izaya's jacket. "I'll be keeping these."

...

 _ **A/N: What do you guys think? I'll try to update when I can.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Unforseen, Chapter 2**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **I was kind of half of asleep when I wrote this, so it may not be all that great.**_

 _ **This was so hard to write for me, my drrr writing is so rusty(not that it was ever really that good haha ;)And a lot has been going on. My youtube channel, Karina Kamichi, which had just got to 1,002 subscribers got taken down, so I had to move to my backup Karina Kamichi account. My anxiety has been driving me nuts, but I decided I'd update this.**_

 _ **Also, I will flesh out Izaya's past with Mikage in later chapters, I promise! :D**_

 _ **I hope this isn't too out of character, though it probably is. *sobs***_

* * *

Izaya couldn't help but feel iritation at Mikage taking his knives, but wouldn't let it show. Besides, he doubted Mikage had that much experience with this kind of thing. If she had, she would have known that he could use practically anything to cut with and would find a way if push came to shove. Not an issue.

To have seen her so concerned for him was a bit surprising to say the least, but that, in essence, was one of the many things that made humans so fascinating. The various facesets they had to offer in different situations was something that he always liked to experiment with. Even in his dazed state, it didn't failed to amuse him. Only one questioned lingered on his mind, however.

"Why are you here?" He asked in a still weak voice, after a long silence had settled between him and Mikage, who had walked over to the door to give him some privacy. Even though he had an idea of what she was thinking, he couldn't help but feel like there was more to it. Yet, knowing everything would ruin the fun, right? Telling himself that, however, didn't help ease the rising anxiety in his stomach. She probably thought he was insane. Haha.

"Namie called me, told me to check on you." She said in a low voice. At hearing that, Izaya's face contorted into a bitter smirk.

"Of _course_ she would..." He sighed in a dark amusement. That woman really knew how to hit him hard, didn't she? Of all people, she specifically chose Mikage? There's no way it was a coincidence. Well, this was what happened when she didn't get her paycheck. So predictable.

Tsk.

This was what made humans so amusing, though. "Even so, I know you wouldn't have come unless you wanted to, so why did you really come here?"

"It's...Because I refused to sit back worrying about you anymore. I should have done something before, but I didn't, so I'm making up for that mistake, especially now." Mikage didn't hesitate to give him her answer. Izaya smirked at hearing that.

"Ah, you're too sweet for your own kind, Mikage-chan. You don't have to show me of all people concern, you know..."

Mikage sighed. Was he really that daft that he had to have everything spelled out for him? Oh, right, it was only like this because it was about him and not somebody else.

"It's a natural human reaction to show compassion to those you care about, Izaya, and you would know that if you had been raised by a normal family that didn't basically abandon you for their job." She said bitterly. She had questioned Shinra and Izaya's sisters before about the situation with their parents, and learned about how they pretty much dumped the twins on Izaya to raise when he was still a teenager. It didn't take a genius to figure out that that kind of neglect could have seriously screwed up a child. Even just thinking about it, she found herself seething.

At hearing Mikage's words, Izaya thought for a moment. Did she know about what happened with his parents? _Great_. He had always preferred people to think his parents were completely normal, and as far as he was concerned, they _were_ , albeit not being around all that much. It felt degrading for people to think that he was a victim of neglect and that was the reason he was the way he was. He didn't want external situations to define who he was. If there was anything he wanted to control more than anything, it would be that he was above being impacted by such a stupid thing. If he was going to be hated by the majority of society, it would be because of the ruckus he caused, fully of his own cognitive choices, not even _indirectly_ because of something he couldn't help.

"Perhaps, but I like to consider the making of my personality my own doing, not somebody else's." Izaya said smuggly, before Mikage slammed the side of her fist into the wall, causing a picture frame she didn't know he had to fall, the glass shattering in too many pieces to count all over the floor. Izaya was startled by it at first, before somehow amusement in it.

 _Well, that was unexpected,_ Izaya smirked, wondering if he could further piss her off. On the other hand, he didn't particularly feel like getting punched in the face by her. And knowing Mikage, she wasn't beyond doing something of the sort if he pushed her far enough.

"It's nothing but the false sense of _control_ you 'desire'. You prefer to imagine you put yourself into that position of freewill, instead of being forced into it by external circumstances." Mikage said, not expecting a response from him. "You may have done a lot of shit in your life, Izaya, but that's one thing I _refuse_ to allow you to blame yourself for. I'm not saying that some of the things you've done are... okay, but... things could have been different, if your parents had given a shit about you and your sisters, who have also been fucked up because of them."

Izaya, quite frankly, wasn't very happy or comfortable with this. It was like she had read his mind, and it wasn't something he really knew how to deal with. He remained strong by keeping others at a disance, but if she began to see through him, like Shinra had, he might have a huge issue there.

"You can't just go around punching walls and destroying things just because somebody says something that upsets you, you know." He said, trying to avert the topic.

"Shut up, I don't care." Mikage grumbled after a moment, her voice filled with frustration.

"You're making a rather stupid decision by trying to 'help' me." Izaya mocked her.

"I _don't_ _care_."

Izaya sighed at hearing that. At this point he had pulled on all of his clothes, looking over the bandages on his arms, _temptation_ present as ever. He sighed, pulling down the sleeves, though he couldn't help but give a dark smirk at the thought of ripping off his bandages just to piss Mikage off, considering her insistance on being here for him, which was not something he was used to.

"You really don't get it, do you, Izaya?" Mikage muttered, glancing back at him.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're referring to." Izaya scoffed, with a snide smirk.

"You _don't_?" Mikage echoed in disbelief, as she began walking towards Izaya, who tensed ever so slightly, not sure what she was about to do. "Then I'll refresh your memory, asshole."

All of a sudden, Mikage used her hand that wasn't holding the knives to grab Izaya's collar, pulling him toward her to where their noses were only inches apart. Auburn eyes stared into auburn. Izaya would be lying if he tried to claim he wasn't unsettled by the close contact, and her unswayed and intense gaze.

"I made a promise to protect you, and, unlike you, I don't speak half-truths. I'm not going to just sit back and allow you to die on my watch," She said. "Got it?"

Izaya was silent for a long moment staring into her eyes, as if trying to find any sign of insincerity. There was none. She was fully serious about this.

The only thing he couldn't understand was why? Why was she going through all this trouble for him, when she could be training at the dojo or doing something far more entertaining with her life? There had to be more to it than a simple promise.

All this time, a certain part of him had always believed that she hated him for all the trouble he had caused her. It was his fault she dropped out of school along with a few other things which he didn't want to think about at the moment.

Unless she was still upset about all that after all? Building his hopes up in such a vulnerable place in his life before destroying him would be the best way get back at him, and it would be well deserved. On the other hand, he didn't feel like taking that risk at the moment. Yet, in the case that Mikage _was_ being genuine, Izaya couldn't help be find a little respect for her. She had always tolerated him better than some and she was fairly easy to please when it came down to it, even though she was pretty easy to upset as well.

He smirked, reaching up and brushing a hand over hers. "Alright, I get it. You can let go now."

After Izaya said this, Mikage hesitated for a moment, before letting his collar go.

"...Would Mikage-chan have kicked me if I said I didn't feel like accepting her help?" Izaya asked in a playful tone.

"What? Did you want me to?" Mikage snorted sarcastically.

"Not really." Izaya admitted, shurgging. "I may be a masochist, but I prefer to keep my ribs in tact if I can help it."

With that said, he stood up, but immediately after, a light headed spell hit him and he immediately began to fall.

"Be careful...!" Mikage shouted, catching him, as she placed the knives on the countertop to get a better grip. "Wrap your arm over my shoulder."

Izaya felt reluctant and hesitant at accepting her help, because he would have preferred to just do this himself, or wait it out. But before he could protest at all, Mikage spoke, "Quit being stubborn and just accept my help, idiot."

After that, Izaya began to feel light headed again, and he decided it would be best and more pleasurable for both of them if he just listened.

As awkward as it was, he reached up and did as she had asked.

As they slowly walked out of the bathroom side by side, nothing was said for a long moment, until Mikage turned her head, muttering something that took Izaya off guard; something he didn't expect to hear from _anybody_ , much less _her_.

"You don't have to have to do everything alone, you know..." Mikage felt her face heat up at hearing the words come from her mouth, but she wouldn't ever take them back. She had never liked how Izaya always tried to push others away, even people who were supposed to be his family.

Izaya, without an identifiable reason, found himself smirking at her muttered statement. Maybe he was amused, perhaps he was a bit flattered by her concern, perhaps there was a whole other reason he wasn't aware of, he didn't know. Was he-?

"Where's your broom? I need to clean up the broken glass from that picture." Mikage asked breaking his thoughts when she helped him sit down on the couch.

"It's in the closet." He answered. "You really should think things through before acting sometimes, Mikage-chan."

"You should talk," Mikage gave a sarcastic retort, before growing more serious. "You're the one who's been sherking responsibilities and slicing your arms to pieces."

Mikage sighed when Izaya didn't respond, before she walked over and looked down at the broken picture to realize it was of Izaya and his sisters. This took her a bit by surprise. As far as she knew, Izaya wasn't usually the type to frame pictures, much less ones of him and his sisters. Why had he?

Then again, while she herself didn't usually care about pictures, she wasn't above keeping things around for sentimental value either. But had it really been sentimental value or was there something more to it than what met the eye...? She couldn't help but wonder. Maybe there wasn't since Izaya didn't look bothered. Then again, Izaya usually didn't let himself look bothered about most things. What if it was something that was really important to him after all...? At thinking about it, she couldn't help but feel bad.

After getting the broom, she noticed Izaya wasn't looking at her at all. So minutes later as she was sweeping up the broken glass, she muttered out an apology:

"Sorry about the picture."

The look on his face at that was one of subtle shock, as he obviously hadn't expected her to apologize to him.

A small silence had settled between them, before he spoke, his voice seeming almost... weak as he said all he knew to in response, smirking nonchalantly, as he looked away again, scratching the back of his head. "It's just a picture, Mikage-chan. Honestly, I can replace it."

Izaya was usually the type to find amusement in people's akwardness, but considering everything that had led up to it, he could only find himself feeling suffocated.

"Is the picture itself something important to you?" Mikage asked him, now looking away herself.

"Not really. We took it awhile ago. I don't really remember what occation it was for."

Izaya was obviously lying, and Mikage clearly didn't believe him, but she didn't press the matter, and instead proceeded to clean up the glass.

...

Thirty minutes later, Mikage was sitting on Izaya's couch, as Izaya had moved to sit at his desk, using his laptop, to scan over some of his emails. A toxic silence had settled between them. Even though he had initially tried to act prideful about it, it irritated him to no end that Mikage had taken his knives, because as having them with him had always given him some sort of comfort and gave him sense of protection in case that monster Shizuo tried to kill him or something. He didn't want to admit it, but, without his knives, he felt... vulnerable, since he was so used to having them. And just knowing that she had them made it impossible to focus on reading anything.

"...Aren't you going to ask me why?" He forced himself to ask to break up the silence, averting his gaze, reached up and connected his fingers behind his head, spinning around in his chair so he wasn't facing her.

At hearing that, Mikage looked down at the pocket knives she had taken from him earlier, thinking about it. Of course she wanted to know what had possessed him to do such more than anything, but she knew that he probably wouldn't open up to her anyway.

"It's not like you'd answer me. I'm not gonna rush you either. It's your call when or if you want to open up to me, even though I wish you would." She said. "But I do have one question. Do you trust anybody in this world?"

Izaya seemed taken aback at the question, before smiling in amusement..

"Of course not," He answered, bluntly, far too quickly and confidently for Mikage's comfort. "Putting trust in others automatically risks that trust being broken, and under any situation, a human is liable to betray another if it suits them and their needs, goals or desires, so it's always better to go into a situation with the expectation to be let down than it is to have false hopes that are most likely to be crushed. Hahaha, you see, Mikage-chan, don't even trust myself half the time."

Mikage got the feeling that he was lying, because everybody knew that Shinra and Izaya were by every standard 'friends', even if they didn't keep in contact all the time; even if it seemed to be more from Izaya's side at points, than the latter. However, despite all this, Mikage just played along, to see how he would respond.

"By doing so, you're also missing out on the chance of them not betraying you." She told him.

"That's something I'm willing to deal with." Izaya said as a matter of factly.

"I feel bad for you." Mikage scoffed, standing up. "There's a lot more to life than living in a cocoon."

"That sounds a little ironic coming from you, doesn't it? You were the most introverted person in high school." Izaya argued, teasingly.

"Touche." Mikage replied, casually mocking Izaya, before approaching him. He turned around in the chair to see what she wanted.

"So... um... are you hungry? I was thinking of making something."

"My. I didn't know you can cook." Izaya rose an eyebrow. This really was new knowledge to him.

"Well, I _can_ , but I usually don't. I just happen to know a few things here and there is all." Mikage said.

"Fine by me," Izaya said, shrugging.

"Come on, then." Mikage said, giving a small smile, reaching out and grabbing Izaya's hand.

"Hey..." He muttered in reluctance, before allowing himself to be pulled into the kitchen by her.

 _~End of Chapter 2_

* * *

 _ **A/N: I hope this is fine. Probably shit.**_


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